When Silence Feels Too Loud

Today, the silence felt heavier than usual.
Being alone in a different country sometimes brings a strange kind of quiet — not the peaceful one that lets you rest, but the kind that echoes inside your chest and reminds you how far you are from home.

I sat for a while, just listening to the hum of the walls and the ticking of the clock. It’s in these moments when loneliness feels too real — when I start to question if this life, this distance, this sacrifice, is really worth it.

I miss home. The comfort of familiar faces, the smell of morning coffee shared with someone, the sound of laughter that doesn’t feel forced. But I also know that security is something I need, especially as I grow older. It’s the reason I chose this path — to build something steady, even if it means being away.

Yet, when both thoughts hit me — the longing for home and the need for security — it’s like standing between two worlds, neither of which feels fully mine. I try to remind myself that maybe this loneliness is a sign that I’m alive — that I still care, that I still feel deeply.

Tonight, I’ll let the silence stay a little longer. Maybe it’s here to teach me something — about strength, patience, or simply about being human.

Because even when I feel lost, I know I’m still trying. And perhaps that, in itself, is worth something.